We will all remember when the Covid pandemic started and how it impacted our lives. Many of us lost loved ones. Our jobs and income were impacted, school life changed for our children, and our social time disappeared. My experience is certainly not special or unique.
In March 2020, my son began homeschooling. His school created the schedule and lesson plan, so I didn’t need to do much other than keep him on track with his homework and make lunch. But, after the next full year at home, it was obvious he wasn’t going to be ready for high school since his school wasn’t prepared to provide remote education. We switched to an online school, and I was, once again, his teacher. It has been decades since I had Algebra, and I never had to learn Common Core Algebra. Despite my best attempts, I certainly was not good at teaching this subject.
At the same time, my mother began displaying more symptoms of dementia. Her condition deteriorated quickly, likely due to the isolation. I eventually had to take her car keys from her. This is a conversation we all dread.
In August, my beloved Golden Retriever, Hunter, died suddenly. I had trained him to be a therapy dog and had a very deep bond with him. Watching him work and brighten people’s day was pure magic. Their joy was so obvious. Men, women, the young, the old, and even the individuals who were afraid of dogs could not help but get caught up in his warm eyes, calm demeanor, and big, welcoming smile. Some heartbreaks don’t go away. You simply get used to them.
By October 2020, it became obvious my mother could no longer care for herself. I had to find assisted living that was both reputable and affordable. That was no small task. I also became her medical and financial Power of Attorney and helped her with finances, her will, and burial decisions. When it was time for her to move, I had to help sort mountains of clothes, shoes, and more. She certainly was not ready to part with many of her belongings. Finally, I had to arrange her move. Helping my mother through this transition and taking care of all of the responsibilities was enough to do by itself without needing to also maintain my household and homeschool responsibilities.
November arrived with my own health scare. While waiting for additional tests, I kept wondering how I could keep up with everything if I also had to battle cancer. I was already exhausted, depressed, and ready to run away. It wasn’t one task or one responsibility. It was the mountain of loss and responsibility that felt unbearable. Fortunately, after weeks of stress, the test results came back negative. Although I was far from healthy after neglecting my own health for a long period, I was extremely grateful I didn’t need to battle for my life.
Thankfully, my home was organized before everything hit. During those nine months, it certainly wasn’t clean. I didn’t have the time to worry about clean windows and floors. I certainly was not at all prepared to take on all of my mom’s needs. If you do nothing else with this book, create a 3-ring binder for your aging parent(s) and get prepared. Create a plan. Determine who will provide care. Get the legal documents ready before you need them.
You are one health crisis away from your loved one’s world colliding with yours.